Confidence is the Best {Fashion} Accessory

Today we’re talking about another one of my favorite f-words: FASHION.

Those of you who have known me for a while probably know that I’ve always liked shopping. I’m one of those people who can usually find any reason to justify a purchase… (I know, I know. My poor bank account 😦 …. there’s a reason why “finances” is the last “f”). Even still, over the last few months, there has been a large shift in my thoughts in this area of my life, both of which are largely due to two people in my life.

The first shift, which might be a little surprising, is largely due to my boyfriend, Josh. See, before being in a relationship, I pretty much wore whatever I wanted, however I wanted, whenever I wanted… not that I dressed all crazy or anything… but I definitely wasn’t intentional… and then I got a boyfriend…. and I started to realize that the things I do, say and wear now affect someone else.


I remember the first time he asked me about something I was wearing… I think I almost punched him in the face (jk, i do not condone physical violence). But seriously, it was a little off-putting if I’m being honest. I wasn’t used to having to explain myself to someone… or being wrong 😉 (sarcasm).

Sometimes it can be hard to be questioned on something  you’re doing. Even still, it made me do a “heart check”.. and really look at what my motives were for wearing certain things. Was I wearing them for negative attention? Whose attention am I seeking? God’s? Josh’s? Other people’s?

Also, for me, it used to be hard to to hear the word “modesty”. Without realizing it,  I think I started equating it with the word “Amish”. I typically thoughts of potato sacks and petticoats. But now I’ve come to realize that I can still wear cute things and feel feminine, without flashing the goods all over Richmond.

winter statement necklace

Sometimes it means shopping at different stores than I used to, or giving away shorts that look like I’ve had them since I was six (but hey, giving clothes away = shopping trip!) but I’ve realized it also makes me feel like a lady… and ten times more beautiful when he looks at me and my “lady clothes” and still thinks I’m as sexy as ever (if he’s reading this, I’m sure he’ll probably be embarrassed that I used the word “sexy”).

The second person I’ve learned from, which is probably a lot less surprising, is my friend Kelsy. Those of you who know Kelsy probably aren’t shocked that she’s one of my inspirations. (Those of you who don’t, go check out her website and it’ll make a lot more sense 😉 ). So yeah, like I mentioned before, I’ve always loved clothes / shopping… the thing is, I’ve also loved yoga pants and leggings. I was one of those people, that unless i had somewhere important to go (aka work, church or a date), I was probably in yoga pants.

Earlier this year, I went to Aruba with Kelsy and her family. For the plane ride I packed my signature travel outfit: converses, leggings, a v-neck and a sweater/jean jacket. Kelsy, on the other hand, was wearing a dress…

on a plane…

where we have to walk through an airport for ~3 hours and sit for 5.

it was a maxi dress, but still.

Another instance I remember is earlier this year when Kelsy came to Richmond to visit. The day she got here was rainy and gross… so naturally, I was in yoga pants and probably my Uggs (I know, I know. so basic). Kelsy, who had actually been out in the rain all day, shows up looking like she just came off the runway, in a sweater dress and heels.

If she wasn’t the sweetest person I know, I probably would’ve mugged her for her clothes.

But that’s Kelsy for you.

I remember saying something sarcastic to her.. probably along the lines of “Kelsy, you WOULD”… and because of who she is, she gave me the most gracious answer ever… she told me how she really just dresses for herself. and how for her, it really is a form of expression… she also told me how good it made her feel about herself when she put forth an effort.

After that second instance, I decided to take a page out of her book; to make an attempt, even if a little attempt. I went from wearing yoga pants on comfy days to wearing t-shirt dresses and sneakers.

transition clothes by season

And from wearing no makeup, to adding mascara and lipstick…and something crazy started happening. Just by putting in an extra 5 minutes a day, I started to feel way more confident about myself…

and I liked that feeling.

jcrew pea coat

I then started looking for other little tricks I could do that didn’t take much time yet helped me feel more “put together”… and then it became fun to me. I love figuring out new things to try together, or finding ways to make dressing up not as intimidating. I especially love the way I feel once I’ve put together something I like… and honestly, sometimes it does feel nice to get compliments (i’m human).

So that’s my challenge for you… try something different for the next 7 days… whether it’s letting your hair down if you’re always wearing it in a pony tail… or wearing jeans or a comfy dress instead of yoga pants. It’ll make a difference, I promise.

And If you do end up trying it, please comment and let me know how it goes!